Though my life is much different now, i still wonder who that girl was? not only me, but his wife…her dirty children with snot encrusted nostrils and her trailer smelling of potatoes rotting at the bottom of a trash can. i think sometimes i could be happy with anyone. there is nothing special about people. we all have a different story that happened in a different place and time, but we have the same fabric internally. we know the same songs that remind of us of long hot summer trips across boring flat states. we all feel deeply about our loss and our love. we all have parts of our bodies we wish looked better. we all look in the mirror at night and ask why we’re here. what’s so special, unique about one man and his tattooed arm?…a girl in pink panties lying on our bedroom floor telling us her life story in deadly detail? not much. when i think about love, how people do it, give it and lose it, i am amazed at my insight. not just into the topic, but insight into myself. i am cold,. It is Tomasz who takes over from Paul with shuffling soft percussion, while Lynn’s hands hover over the keyboard. At last, it seems right and she breaks the tempo with a few tinkly notes mostly drowned out by the applause for her sidemen. Then, appropriately for the time of year, it is the yearning sadness of Autumn Leaves that she plays to the delight of the Japanese tourists. Tomasz and Paul are attractive men, both younger than Lynn, and together they make a coherent trio, communicating with the empathy of all successful improvisers. Each knows intuitively what the others are doing and is happy to give each other the support that has kept the trio going for more than two years now. However, much as Lynn privately lusts for Paul’s lean, muscular body, his arms bare to the shoulder, or the slightly vulnerable, even feminine, Tomasz, she has learnt from earlier mistakes not to mix a professional relationship with sex. In earlier days, in Peckham, later in North London and, then, on.
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