. And now the story we'd promised you. Yesterday evening, at Cappy's Liquors at San Leandro and Fifty-First Avenue down in Oakland's Elmhurst District, there was an unusual holdup attempt. Channel 10 obtained a copy of the surveillance video in the store ... Though the quality of the video is not good, you can clearly see in the video the armed robbery attempt. Now watch as the man with the gun backs towards the door ... what appears to be a college-age female knocks the would-be robber out cold. Now watch what happens to the other robber ... and the young lady and the man leave together. Making the story even more amazing is the man purchasing beer. You can see he bears an astonishing resemblance to local resident and LA Raiders defensive end Howard Short. The resemblance was close enough that the Oakland PD interviewed Mr. Short..."The scene on the TV cut to the football player, in a tuxedo in a ballroom with crystal chandeliers. "No," he said with some annoyance, "I have no idea. Jatz may be a little pissed though.”She turned to Jatz who hadn’t said a word.Jatz looked at me and said, “Jatz is used to a man who fucks other women behind her back.”I couldn’t let that pass, “Who said anything about fucking?”Linda jumped in, “So she turned you down?”“No, she didn’t. I turned her down by telling her that I was in a relationship.”Linda laughed, “As I said before, likely story.”“Okay, if I must I’ll go and get her to tell you the story. We went to the movies and she sat with me in the car and afterwards we all sat around talking until dawn then I came home.”Linda couldn’t leave it alone. “So you kissed and cuddled as you felt her up?”I held my hands out to her. “You must be able to see that I haven’t washed. Smell my hands. I admit we kissed and she cuddled up against me but I told her that I was in a relationship and we could not go any further.”“Look Goyse, I’m taking the shit out of you. You have every right to date other women. I don’t want you to but I have no.
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