I put my head down and took stock of my options. I could survive in my car for the night and then go back to the house tomorrow after she went to work, but there was always the chance that she’d take the day off and wait for me. There was also the possibility that she’d report me missing. That would be like her.I crumpled up the can and tossed it in the recycling bin near the trash before taking the walk back to my car. Two months ago I had a perfect life. I loved my wife, I liked my job, I enjoyed fighting in the cage, I had everything I wanted. Now I hated my life. I was barely married, my job hadn’t changed, but my attitude was shifting somewhat. Even my last fight wasn’t enjoyable. I fought out of fear and rage. I’d seen Brad’s face across the cage when the bell rang and the animal in me took over. I hated my shitty Nissan, my dead marriage, my suburban home, my office job and my sham of a life. About the only thing that had happened lately that didn’t make me feel loathing was. His hand was rubbed up and down my thigh. Maybe this is normal. Maybe he can tell that I'm nervous, so he's trying to calm me. I breathed deep and tried to just enjoy the comforting sensation. Just as I was beginning to calm, the whole car lurched and I was thrown forward then backwards. First I smacked the back of the person in front of me, then I landed on the lap on the plaid-shirt man behind me. I apologized and tried to stand up, but he was holding my hips. He said in my ear, "Don't worry about it. It's awfully crowded on here; you can sit here if you like. I don't bite." He saw my hesitation and began stroking my thigh again. I didn't want to be rude if this was normal subway etiquette, so I stayed seated. I looked around and once again, no one was paying any attention. The petting was actually making me feel better. I sat there, swaying with the train, mesmerized by the rhythm of his hands. Before I knew it, his hands were sliding up under my skirt. When I looked down I.
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