The thing seems to leap at me, and I turn and run into the woods.Blinking to get the glare out of my eyes, I blunder through the wood with zero grace. It would be hard enough in trainers, let alone these boots. There is no path I can make out, and branches slap at my face. I hold out my hands to push them away as the bike snarls up behind me. Soon I can see my own shadow. Will he run me over?Is that what he really wants?I have no control over this situation now. Whatever we have agreed could just as easily be un-agreed according to his whim. Or, I suppose, mine, but he is the one on a monster machine that sees no barrier in everything currently smacking me in the face and legs as I stumble on.Scared now, I realise this is the thrill – that I am too often in control, in environments I don’t like to stray from. Yet, what is the point of that? Better to be here, stalked through the woods like Red Riding Hood, my blood ablaze with fear and wonder, my mind lit up with drugs, and my body. ” Ava starts sobbing, tears are running down her cheeks. I’m hugging her, holding her, giving her a kiss on her cheek: “Oh, honey.”“Dad, would you mind? You know, cuddle with me again like I did with mom?” I’m tensing up: “Um… you know how difficult that is for me. We cuddled nude before like you wanted and there was a hiccup. I’m scared I’ll embarrass myself again.” Ava continues sobbing: “That’s so unfair. Just because you’re afraid of embarrassing yourself I’m deprived of affection. I really wish you weren’t so stuck up and more comfortable with nudity! I really wish mom was still here!” Ava continues to cry. I can’t stand seeing her like this. I need to pull myself together.“Ava, you mean everything to me you know that.” No response from Ava. “I’ll give it another shot, alright?” Ava still doesn’t respond. Her eyes are closed, surrounded by tear stains. She’s still upset. I’m realising I still need to finish the bed-bath: “But first I need to finish your bed-bath, honey. Then we.
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