You check your hair and your outfit ,making sure you look your best. It doesn't matter, I love you anyway. You hit the button. I appear on your screen. You see the sparkle in my eyes that makes your knees weak. I smile at you, and you know all is well. The breathing you hear is your own, heavy and strong. I'm not all that, but I'm yours and you are mine. That's all we need for now. "Are you ready, dear?" I ask. "Yes," you squeak out ,finding it hard to say anything. I take off my shirt and you see my hairy chest. You want to reach thru the computer and run your fingers in my hair. God you just got so wet. " I want you dear, I love you so much. I want to kiss your lips and hold you close." The words and image sends shivers down your spine. You can't help but touch your lips together in a kiss. Is it hot in here? " If I were there I'd be nibbling on your ear and whispering how much I love you. One hand would be holding you close to me, the other sliding down to grip your ass. It feels. . I didn’t want to think about it. The other alternative was worse, though: reconstructing what must have been done to her. A few imaginary blows and screams and my mind simply shut down. I couldn’t bear it. I, who had made innumerable people cry in pain, couldn’t even face the thought. I hoped this wasn’t going to change too much about me.I reminded myself that Amanda was partly responsible. If she had told me this was likely to happen, I would have cancelled with Kira in an instant. At least, I’d like to think I would have. I was still supposed to be in charge, though, even if she wasn’t my pet. As a friend, she looked up to me and followed my lead, so it was on me to take care of her and make the right decisions. We had both screwed up, but she had suffered the consequences.I focused on the wonderful feeling of her warm body against me, and told myself I had her with me now, safe and sound, or sound enough, at least. I slowed down my breath and remembered her smile as I dabbed at.
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