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"You ready?" he asked."Always ready," I said, shaking the kinks out of my right arm and rotating my hips. I did a couple of knee bends out of habit and wished I had not.He whistled shrilly, waved his big glove toward the dugout and then said. "You got the next three innings."When the time came, I stepped carefully across the foul line, which some smart guys were now calling the fair line, pulled my bright hat down tight and made my way to the mound, getting everything else shut away from my head. When I thought about it, I was always surprised that I could stop hearing the buzz of the crowd. Gene Zabdev, the young catcher I had met the first day, came in at the same time I did along with a whole new outfield, and we went over signs quickly."Give me corner targets if you call number one," I said. "There ain't much there."He smiled, nodded and adjusted his colorfully-painted mask.It went pretty well, three up and three down, two pop-ups and one grounder to second on a sidearm curve that. I’ll need to be at that somewhere by a certain time, and I lay in bed as the minutes turn into hours, making myself orgasm over and over, promising the universe “Just one more and I’ll be on my way,” only to make the same promise five minutes later. As each orgasm passes, I lose the chance to do my hair properly. . Sometimes, I devise an excuse about traffic and just plan on being late altogether. The process is very time-sensitive—I have exactly thirteen seconds after an orgasm to get up and shake it off before I get horny again. Thirteen seconds goes by pretty fast, so it’s a pretty demanding act, in terms of will. If procrasturbating were an Olympic sport, I’d be a fucking gold medalist. But like I said, I don’t need help—I’ve designed a system: I get ready an hour ahead of time so that I’m free to touch myself until the very last second, until I need to get on with my daily schedule. I take my shower , blow dry my hair, and get fully dressed (except for pants, which I take out of.
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