The light was a woman, a woman I have known all my life. Lexie as we all called her had a lifelong best friend. Jenna appears at my side on the bench, with a sympathetic hand on my shoulder. I look up to her eyes and it is obvious she knows what’s happened. ‘Want to talk about it?’ I shook my head no and turned back to looking at the ground. I didn’t want to talk about anything right now. I just wanted the pain to go away. When a part of your life is ripped from you violently like a break up from a three year relationship, the mind makes the pain real. Its part of the reason the hole can swallow you up. The pain weakens you so you don’t fight as hard as you normally would. ‘You might feel better if you talk about it.’ She was being so nice and trying to help me. ‘Sorry I don’t feel like talking. I just want this feeling to go away. I want her back but she doesn’t want me. Do you know what that feels like? To be completely crazy for someone and they don’t want you back. To spend. ”“Us.” She corrected.“What,”“Till he tires of tormenting us,” she elaborated.“Mmmm, yeah.”“Even with all of the shit he makes me do, you know that I truly love “you” don’t you.” Shan said with dewy eyes.”“Absolutely,” I whispered gazing deep into her eyes and a tear painted my cheek.I rolled on my back and stared at the ceiling. “It’s just so weird. How is he able to treat people like does and not feel remorse?”“God only knows what goes on in that fucker’s mind. I can’t figure him out and I really don’t think I want to. Like it or not, he gives me something I need, no crave and I am beginning to suspect that you have come to crave it too, at least some of it. Besides, if it weren’t for Dave, I never would have married you and I would still be that depressed, sad, suicidal slut you met at the bachelor party. Now I’m a happy, vibrant and in love slut.”“Well he was the one that turned you into that depressed, sad, suicidal slut.”“No, that happened way before Dave and even if it had been.
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