I wake first and now it’s my turn to make the coffee I think as I climb gently from the bed so as not to wake you before the sweet smell of coffee accompanies me.“It’s like a god damn fairytale” I think to myself as I stir in a solitary sugar. Then I smile to myself because I didn’t just think it, I said it out loud and now I feel like I’m losing control of my senses.I catch sight of my reflection in the microwave and realise what a mess I look. “They always look great after fucking in the movies” I say out loud and then I raise my eyebrows and wonder if I’m still tipsy from last night.“They never spill coffee on the floor in the movies”, I mock myself as I accidentally tilt one of the cups and tip a small amount onto the floor. Finally I arrive with the coffee after cleaning up the mess I made and I find you snoring gently.“He sleeps” I whisper to my new imaginary friend or myself as I set the cups down and climb in behind you. I wrap my arms around you and kiss your back. It’s the. And God looked down and saw that it was good.Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature, requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good.So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember it’s God’s will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath. Nine Important Facts to Remember as We Grow Older#9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.#8 Life is sexually transmitted.#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.#6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.#3 All of us.
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