" What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine." What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before." Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now."The bartender replied: "Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"The pirate explained: "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I'm fine, really." What about that eye patch?" Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them crapped in my eye." You're kidding," said the bartender. "You couldn't lose an eye just from bird crap."And the pirate replied,"It was my first day with the hook."This one is compliments of LarryEver wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%. How about achieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove. When it was time for them to turn in for the night they would wake me up and walk me to the living room where the couch made into a bed. It was the old pullout hide a bed type. In the morning I never remembered making the trip. I would go to sleep in their bed and wake up in mine with no memory of how I got there.On this one night I think we must have been listening to some spooky stories on the radio but I don't remember for sure. All I remember is what happened next.It was time to go to bed and so I changed in the bathroom and said good night to Mom and Pop. I went into the bedroom and saw that Mom had turned down the covers for me. All was ready for a good night's rest. I looked around and then clicking off the light, I jumped into the big double bed and slipped under the covers.As I lay in the darkened room my eyes adjusted to the small amount of light from the street lights outside. I closed my eyes and tried to go to sleep.What was that? I heard a noise from across the room. I.
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