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- Mark TwainThe secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible- George BurnsSanta Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.- Victor BorgeBe careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.- Mark TwainBy all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.- SocratesI was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.- Groucho MarxMy wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.- Jimmy DuranteI have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.- Zsa Zsa GaborOnly Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.- Alex LevineMy luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.- Rodney DangerfieldMoney can't buy you happiness ... But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.- Spike MilliganUntil I. Well, back in the present, I just got home from college, and would just love to baby sit my four year old sister, and my nine year old brother and I have a cool relationship, so it’s fun hanging out with him too, despite his ADHD tendencies. However, my parents have had a bad experience with my brand of “babysitting” - when I was sixteen, Jarod and a couple of other friends were over playing D&D (dungeons and dragons, in layman’s terms), and I accidentally let my three year old brother ride down the road naked on his tricycle. So much for my babysitting career. Anyway, this actually had its benefits, as it would turn out, though I hardly knew it at the time. I was hanging out at Jarod’s parent’s house, when his mother mentioned that Allison could probably co-baby sit for my siblings, she knew better than to volunteer Jarod, since he hates anything with an overly large amount of germs and daylight (quintessential d&d nerd). Well, with the premise set, on to the juicy parts. Well, I.
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