That meant being out of their livesforever and providing for them with money. Maybe with that money theymight (over time) remember me better.My only concern was not for myself, but how I could assure myself thatJanet would keep her side of the bargain. She asked me to choose anattorney to hold the money. Once he received it and I saw it in hisaccount, I was able to agree. There was a "reversion" term, but afterthe time she had allowed, the money would be available to my familyand nobody else.Now I was ready to die. Now I was ready to be found as the body ofJanet Downing at the foot of the cliff they call "The Leap". I justneeded to be that body.Why would I agree to my body being mutilated? Well, I was neverparticularly happy with my body anyway. I was too small and scrawny,and apart from the large dark eyes that my wife had fallen for, I wasnot particularly good-looking. But at the moment in my life, my self-esteem was at the lowest ebb. I wanted to die, so what concern. I knew she was going to be a heartbreaker.After my mother’s death, my father came to live with Allie and me. It took some getting used to as my father was used to living a certain way as were Allie and I. For the most part it seemed like we were all doing pretty well adjusting and his idiosyncrasies that were most annoying died down after a few weeks time, leading me to believe it was just adjusting to missing my mother. Allie too had to adjust. Being the only female in a how with her father was one thing, but now her (very) elderly grandfather was in her space as well. They have always gotten along and my father spoils her rotten, of course, and the scuffle over bathroom cleanliness only came up on the second day. All in all, this was working out fine. With my father adjusting to life without my mother surprisingly quickly, like I said - just a few weeks, I had rarely seen him more at peace. I felt proud that our family was emotionally strong enough to weather the storm. Fast.
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