“Oh Mr Shultz that was a fantastic session on stress relief, we should make them a weekly calendar item i think”Oh shit Ava thought, how do i get out of here now? Using her Gift she had them get dressed and had Mrs Monroe leave and as she exited Ava slipped out behind her and tucked the camera in her bag and walked away.“Oh Ava, what are you doing out of class Mrs Monroe said grabbing the door handle to head into her meeting with Mr Shultz.“I needed to go to the toilet”“With your bag dear?”“That time of the month Mrs!”She said hoping that was the end of the questioning.“Ok then dear, back to class now”Ava disappeared up the stairs to the girl’s toilets upstairs to check over her footage. It was awesome; it was just what she needed to secure her brilliant GPA. She turned and marched straight back to the principal’s office and knocked on the door. There was no response so she banged on the door again but harder this time.A very angry Mr Schultz opened the door.“You had better have a. “Yes. Yes, I did. Go the blue, white and red!” he gleamed with pride.“When did you graduate?” I asked.“In 1975” He answered “Why do you ask?”“You were in my class!” I exclaimed.He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled faced, fat-arsed, grey-haired, decrepit son-of-a-birch asked “Oh Really? What did you teach?”This group is compliments of a Friend of J & G.A man dies ‘in the act’ after taking Viagra and rigor mortis has set into his private parts.The funeral director can’t get the coffin lid nailed on and has to discuss the alternatives with the man’s beautiful young widow. “I’m afraid that the only way to get the lid on is either to pay another $3,000 for an extra-large coffin or to amputate his member”.“Well I have no more money” states the widow “and it is against my religion for me to bury my husband in more than one piece”.The funeral director thinks about this and then comes up with a brainwave: He’ll amputate his dick and then stick it up the deceased’s.
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