What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse- sized tazer. The effects of the tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety... ??WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I’d get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.AWESOME!!!Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn’t be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this. I rushed to her, waiting for her to speak."Jake ... I'm so sorry! We've tried ... I tried. For so long, I tried to make it work, at least until the twins were of age, but it's over. It's all over, sweetheart. Your father's leaving me, but I don't blame him. He has every reason to leave me. I tried to be a good Christian wife and mother, but I failed. I just hope that I can still go to Heaven, but he thinks that I was never truly saved, that I will go to Hell, and that this is proof of it. I'm a bad, terrible, awful woman. Such a sinner, such a whore. I'm a Jezebel and I'm probably damned to a Devil's Hell, just as your father claims," Mom seemed very much ashamed."What is it, Mom?" I now insisted that she tell me."I'm ... gay, Jake. I'm a lesbian. I was never sexually attracted to your father, but I tried. I tried so hard, because he's a godly Christian man, and I thought ... I believed that if I had faith, God would give me a healthy, natural desire for my husband, and that would be.
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