I loved thefeel of being a woman, and dressing as one.This went on for about a year or two, And then I started widening myvisions. I tried putting on a bit of make-up, but it was a lot harderthan I thought and it was a disaster. It made me look more of a clownthan anything did.I gave that idea up for a little while.Then I started reading books on how it should be done properly, whatshades to use together, how to blend thing's in. What a difference itmade, after a few weeks, I could apply my make-up quite well, usingeverything in the right order and not overdoing it.Out of any spare money I got, I started buying my own make and evenstarted to use a day and night face cream on my face.Mum did not notice as she was too tired when she left home to go to workand was to tired when she came home.The complexion of my skin started to change, it became softer, and sinceI never seem to have to shave, it emphasised it even more.The girls at school would often come over to me and ask, "John, how. HeWAS different, he'd been made to feel different from the moment hestarted school. Rejected and ostracised from day one, he'd endured thecontempt and loathing of virtually everybody he knew. The big kids inthe playground. Mr Grady, his gym coach. Mrs Lorris, his homeroomteacher. The old geezer who mopped out the hallway back in gradeschool, the one who used to call him 'Rosebud' under his breath. Jesus,his own parents on occasion, when his effeminate ways embarrassed themin public. How could he explain that to her, make her see what an ugly,pointless waste his existence had become?She already knows.The thought flashed across his mind like summer lightning: she knew.She'd always known. She'd known from the morning he'd stepped acrossThe Shop's tiled threshold five years ago. Even then, she'd knowneverything about him, known him better than his own Mother. Every hair,every pore, every flickering eyelash. The Tarot had told her, whisperedhis story through her gliding fingertips, slowly.
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