B!” she called out as I reached the kitchen and slammed the door behind me.I looked around, desperately searching for something to cover me up. There was nothing. A dirty frying pan in the sink; it might just work, but not very practical. A small dish towel; how would I keep it in place? The bread board? A box of frosted flakes? No! Useless. All of them.(Note to self: keep an extra pair of pants in the kitchen)Then I looked behind me. Ah! Hanging on a hook on the back of the door, there was an apron I had given to my ex a few years back. It had a cartoon figure of a buxom woman on it, with a caption that read:I MAY SUCK IN THE KITCHENBUTI SUCK IN THE BEDROOM!During one of our spats I had taken a marker pen and crossed out the word ‘BUT’ and inserted the word ‘AND.’ It was not kind, I know, but it was true; she sucked in both departments. I put the apron on, struggling with making a bow behind my back. How the hell do women know how to do that? Then I changed my mind. I didn’t want to. When he pushed she gave way andAkhbar stumbled forward a step. Barbra Rosa brought her knee up with allthe force she could muster, hitting Akhbar powerfully in his balls as hissuperior strength and weight pushed him forward. As the wind was drivenfrom the Captain, Rosa followed up with a roundhouse punch delivered withthe basket hilt of the snapped scimitar.Akhbar was on all fours on the deck and groaning from the pain of histestes. He had lost his cutlass as he fell and clutched his ballsprotectively as he struggled to rise. Barbra watched him with a malicioussmile, her chest heaving from her exertion. She tossed aside the brokenscimitar and swapped her intact blade from hand to hand. She waited untilAkhbar had almost regained his feet until she gave a shrill scream andraised her remaining scimitar with both hands. Leaping upon the Captain'sback she struck down with the scimitar's point and stabbed Akhbar betweenhis shoulder blades. Barbra threw all her weight upon the sword.
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