I caught a glimpse of Edie's mini-skirt, sky blue today, as she closed a five bar gate across a rutted track into the woods on the other side of the lane. I spied through the leaves and twigs until she was out of sight, then found the nearest gate and followed her. There were tall, mature beech trees on either side of the track, with tangles of ivy on those most shaded. Clouds had covered the sun, and a premature dusk was falling. The canopy of summer-heavy trees made it darker still. It was a little spooky, and I shivered. Ahead, through the trees I saw the walls of small Victorian gothic yellowy-grey brick house protected by a high picket fence, nestled in a bare-earthed clearing. A wooden sign nailed roughly to a tree by the track enigmatically read 'Keepers'.To the right of the house was a large, solidly built clinkered shed, or small barn. To the left a dark green Landrover was parked beneath a flimsy lean-to. I crept up the track to the edge of the clearing and hid behind a. It was usually late on Sunday afternoons that I returned to my thoroughly-fucked body."I started hating myself. More and more guys gave me looks and winks. I got felt up in crowded elevators. Totally unknown men bought me drinks. So one night after having almost been raped by two teenagers, I summoned Estelle."I shook my head. The way she talked about Estelle as a separate person had almost begun to sound natural.Myriam swallowed. She threw away the abused purse. "I told her that I would kill myself if she did not back off. I showed her the razor blades I had bought. And the bottle of sleeping pills. It was the only weapon I had and she knew it. At first she tried to convince me I wouldn't dare. But we both know each other too well to take a risk."Myriam smiled weakly. The schizophrenia of her story made me reel — it felt like vertigo. My voice was almost a whisper. "You seriously considered suicide?"Her eyes focused. "Yes. I felt that my life was being taken away from me. My only.
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