”Then she ran after Karen, and managed to stop her just before she was able to get back into her car again. I looked at them for a moment but then I turned my attention to Paul, who was intently looking at me from close up. My thoughts were running a million miles per hour when I looked back at him. At least he didn’t cry.While holding him, I heard some voices inside as Naiya was waking up from her nap. I left the door open and carried little Paul inside so that I could check on Naiya.I had no idea how much time had passed when Karen came to me. I was watching Naiya and Paul interacting and playing with the toys that had gradually taken over our living room. When I noticed that Karen had been crying I immediately got worried. Karen saw the look on my face and just shook her head.“No, not now, Greg. You should go to talk to Marie - or rather listen to her. Why don’t you go to the backyard? It’s a nice place to sit, as long as the sun is up.”I guess she saw that I was about to protest. ”“Clarissa was right - I want to be a doctor more. I feel like a complete cad.”“May I be direct?”“Sure.”“How many relationships have you ended for exactly that reason? Or didn’t start? You actively tried to chase off girls until you found one you couldn’t chase off.”“I didn’t chase Angie away. I didn’t really try.”“Mike, none of that was real. I’m not saying Angie wasn’t sincere, but there’s no way to know what’s real in Angie’s mind and what isn’t. I’m sure you read that schizophrenia is, among other things, a disorder of the sense of self, and that while schizophrenics observe, they do not properly process observations into meaning.”“But it felt so real. And my love for her is real.”“I don’t doubt your love, but for Angie, her sensations, thoughts, ideas, and understanding of the world is incoherent during her episodes. And outside those episodes, she doesn’t see or process the world the way you and I do. Her reality is not our reality. She doesn’t implicitly understand her thoughts.
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