“I'm smart enough to have stayed single. Look, if you're not comfortable working with someone who does this for a living, I'm sorry I wasted your time.” I stood and turned toward the door.“Wait!” she cried. “Please. Oh, dammit, I'm not good at this.” Suddenly, her bluster was gone. “Won't you sit down?”I did. I looked at her, waiting for her to continue. She was staring at the screen-saver on her computer monitor, playing absent-mindedly with a wisp of her hair that was draped over her chest. She took a deep breath, and then broke into a weak smile.“That's probably the worst job I've done introducing myself since I was about twelve,” she said. “May I start over?”I stood up, smiled, and extended my hand, just as I had done before. “Hello, I'm Don Croswell.”She gave me a smirk, stood, and said, “Good to meet you, Don. I'm Sarah Blevins.” She laughed as we shook hands. “Please, sit down. Would you like a water?” She swiveled in her chair and got two bottles from her. I pull the covers back over my head in an attempt to find shelter from the pain and responsibility outside my door. My foot will not even touch the cold wooden floor, for fear that the creaking of old wooden boards would be the apparition of you as you walked nakedly, on tip toes across my room. My mind is tortured by the thoughts I have. The things I would whisper into your ear in the choicest of moments. The look on your face as you let your body give way to the convulsing throes of climax. The scenes are burned into my psyche and I crave their oddity and wonder. Cleanse me of this imprint though I want to revel there. Cleanse me of my own desire.Even now I cannot escape the internal strife. The most intense pleasure has given way to the most solemn low. Oh honest and true love, without the dark shadow of my lust, where are you? To be so alone that you are not even with yourself. Now that is to be alone.So leave me to lie here. Let me wait for the wind to stop and the rays to again.
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