‘It’s like I’ve always wanted to be right there next to you, I just couldn’t get close enough and I didn’t want to part, ever. I felt like the only way to do that was to somehow graft myself on like a third hand or voodoo myself in as a conscience, so I could see you come up with these amazing thoughts that you have, these mind blowing ideas. To actually see you paint them as elegantly as you do on the canvas.’ He coughed. ‘Then I realized……that I am already there, right there. And so are you. You are a piece of me and I of you. A major part of the machine, whether we like it or not. I didn’t come this far just to give up. Ever. I couldn’t anyway. You’re too important, even in the beginning.’ He brushed the snow off her hat before ashing the cigar. ‘And wherever we go in life, however far or however much things change, you’ll always be in the back of my mind. We are but a handful of dust, each grain a year of our lives. No, not of our lives, but of our youth. To which we forget. And. The blue sky became fragmented, like jigsaw puzzle pieces, and those pieces took on features of familiar people, friends and family, as well as strangers and images from nature, both flora and fauna, and I experienced the interconnectedness of the universe.Then things began to change. In the absence of sensory stimulation, I heard the quietest of hisses outside myself. I smelled a chemical odor masked by a floral scent, potent as gardenias despite it barely being there. Then I heard a voice, not Jason's, higher pitched. It insinuated itself inside my skull, making me unsure of its source: a speaker or self-created. I couldn't understand the words but they effected me.The nirvana I had been in ended. Images of my past appeared. They consisted of me getting my PI license, cases being investigated, Kitty, Margarita, Rhonda's photograph, and Margarita, Kitty, Sandy and myself hatching plans for the case. I felt my throat vibrate, but heard nothing of what I said.Gradually my inner world.
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