But the civility ended about six months into their marriage when I walked without knocking into his secretary's office late one afternoon. I had merely come to empty the wastebaskets, part of my job. I thought everyone had gone home. But there he was, standing behind her, bent over her seated form, her blouse half unbuttoned, his hands hidden in her bra, massaging her tits.I froze when I saw them. Tess, his secretary, tried to stand but he just pushed her back into the chair, his hands still clamped on her massive cones."Hal, for God sakes stop it," she squeaked, her face beet red.So it's "Hal," and not Mr. ___ when they are alone, was my thought. I was frozen in my tracks trying to comprehend what I was seeing."Come here, you little bastard," barked Hal. "Anyone ever taught you to knock? You like to look at tits, don't you? I've seen you looking at your mothers. Well here. Look at these," as he unsnapped Tess'es front-closure bra and squeezed her tits together, her nipples erect,. "My, my, but you have developed a potty mouth. What do you mean, exactly?"I reviewed what had slipped out of my mouth, thanks to my loose tongue and farting brain. Basically, I had suggested that my mom's best friend was as hot as I thought she was.I was doomed."Exactly?" I croaked."Yes, Robert," she said, taking a step closer to me. "If I'm not a hag ... what am I?"I thought furiously, but I didn't have a lot of time before I responded."You're the kind of woman who for sure doesn't need a dating service to get a man's attention," I said. It didn't quite come out like I thought it would. I closed my eyes."Why thank you!" she chirped, to my astonishment. "I knew you'd understand and be supportive. But this dating site is having a contest and I want to win it, and I need you to take the photographs for me for that to happen." She smiled brightly."Contest," I said."Yes," she said. "It's a contest to decide who's the sexiest new member to join this month. They're going to pick a male and.
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