The next two mornings things go the same and I don’t mind dressing the way I am now with just my jacket and shoes. Right now no one knows that I am completely naked under my jacket except Randy. Thursday morning arrives and we are set to go to school. I come out to the car with only my jacket and shoes on. I have a big smile and I kiss Randy as I get into the car. I start the car and turn on the radio as we pick up the boys. Everything is going good this morning as the boys are chatting as usual. Then on the radio Bob Seger’s song “Night Moves” starts to play. The words I hear on the radio” She was a black haired beauty with big dark eyes, and points all her own sitting way up high.... Way up firm and high.” Randy smiled and said to the boys “This song is about my mom.” I suddenly started to turn red as I didn’t know what Randy was going to say or do. Up until this moment it had been just my son and I that knew what a slut I am, and now I wasn’t sure what he was going to do. The. I knew he loved me though, so I tried not to let it hurt my feelings.Our plan was to wait two more years before having children so that we could save as much money as possible beforehand, and in the meantime, because the pill was so harsh on my body, we would use condoms. I admit that even though the idea of having kids scared the hell out of me (was I even close to mature enough for that at 19?), there were times that I wish we didn’t wait just so the monotony of my life would be broken. Looking out the living room window, between the thick, leafy branches of a tree and the edge of a nearby building, I could see a sliver of the bay- a strip of deep blue below the light blue sky. ‘I wonder how long it would take to walk down there’ I thought to myself, turning my eyes to the TV in time to see another hysterical contestant barreling towards the stage onThe Price is Right. The house was already clean, and the only load of laundry I had to do was now in the dryer. I couldn’t stomach.
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