Jenny was a cute girl, and — no, I had bigger fish to fry. ‘The guys with me — what do you know about them? Be honest.’ ‘Hunter and the Bills?’ Jenny raked me with a disdainful look. ‘They’re regulars. Usually here with a guy named Len. They’re pigs, all of them, I’ve had to take Big Bill’s hand off my ass twice tonight.’ I hadn’t noticed. ‘I hope you’re a good tipper.’ ‘What makes you think I’m paying?’ I asked, curious. ‘These assholes never bring their own women, they hit on girls at the bar. Besides, I overheard enough of the conversation to know you’re trying to sell them something.’ She snorted. ‘How’s that working for ya, sweetie?’ ‘Crappy,’ I admitted. She laughed. ‘They were here last week with Len. They’re only stringing you on — he bought ’em off with a pair of blondes.’ Jenny looked at me again and added, with the air of somebody trying to be fair, ‘You’re better-looking than they were.’ ‘If I wanted to change their minds, how should I do it?’ ‘Are you sure that’s what. There is love. My story ideas tend to flow from a single memorable incident and then I expand that incident or encounter into a story—a fictional story. I sat down next to an icy blond whose name I don’t recall, if I ever knew it, at a bar in Atlanta many years ago. I listened as a couple on business types tried to pick her up and laughed when she shot them down in flames. I’m pretty sure she didn’t believe me when I told her I was a pilot, she torched me in short order. What follows is my fantasy of what might have been her story and what might have happened. It’s about overcoming—coming back from—something that happens in your life that almost kills you and fucks you up in the head just enough to dull your humanity. You can still function, even function at a very high level. You’re not suicidal, not even depressed. It’s as if the affect side of your brain—the feelings side—has just shut down because the pain of what you saw or experienced is too massive to deal with. If you’ve.
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