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We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.They could lighten up on the obstacle course however ... I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any push-ups after completing basic training.Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too ... I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave or to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.Let us old guys track down those terrorists ... The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple. But, critics may object, without the fair sex,Humanity's doomed, for none but they may bearOffspring, to which I say, There are too many of us now;Men, as lovers of one another, cannot add to the surplusOf crying mouths to feed, no matter how many timesThey spill their fecund seed.But tits, if not cunts, are pleasant to see,Other critics contend,To which I answer in this way:Therefore, should we give themTo transwomen, or, for that matter,Simply paint breasts to displayAlong the highways we takeFrom here to there and back again,On America's less-traveled byways.ANIMAL MAGNETISMA spill of raven hair,Gold-green eyes,Coral lips, a necklaceOf heart-shaped diamonds--All were beautiful,But what stood out most,Capturing my gaze,Were the chocolate nipplesShe displayed, atop her small,But insistent, shemale breasts.THE PHOTOGRAPHER'S PROMISEDo not fret if you are not perfect yet;We will pose you, light you,Shoot you--a hundred times or more--Until the right lighting and angleConspire with your.
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