.. Daddy had the flu and Mummy said to keep away from him cause it is contagious. Teacher says very good Susie. Little Johnny’s hand goes up. Teacher dreads this but no one else raises a hand. OK Johnny ... I asked Mummy how long Daddy would be out fishing and she said it would take the contagious.Jack is on his death bed, and he says to his wife “Can you give me one last wish?” She says “Anything you want”. He says “After I die, will you marry Larry?” She says “But I thought you hated Larry”. With his last breath, he says “I do”.A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and asks for a beer. The bartender brings a beer and notices the parrot on his shoulder and says “Hey that’s really neat. Where did you get it?” The parrot responds “In the jungle, there’s millions of them”.A super-hot chick walks into her church and says to the priest “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned”. The priest says “Tell me dear, what’s on your mind?” “Well Father, I am a sex addict, and. Ask the government. Oh yes, the government. You don’t think the government doesn’t know we exist? Of course they do. For quite a while now. We have an informal, but strongly enforced agreement with them. We keep low, behave ourselves and they don’t wipe us out. There aren’t that many of us, for reasons I just explained. In return, we do certain things for the government. After all, we’re Americans too. Someone who walks through poison gas and can get loaded down with bullets without suffering any harm can be very useful to all different agencies. I have an old friend, Robert, who works for the FBI. I am very fond of him, even if he was born in England. We cross paths off and on, particularly since I’m employed by another branch of the government, specifically the Agency. Hey, a girl’s gotta make a living doing something. I settled into the leather captain’s chair behind the wheel of my panel van. Its plain on the outside, but very nicely appointed inside. The advantage is obvious..
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