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” “Thank god for that!” I said to myself. “Does Mrs. Santa like you to call her dirty names, Hon?” I was a little shocked, but fortunately not enough to lose my erection. “Dirty names? Uhhhh……no,” I said. “Mrs. Santa is kind of conventional that way. And isn’t that degrading, calling a woman dirty names?” “You are so sweet,” she said. “Not if the woman asks for it, Baby. Elves love to be called dirty names. Didn’t you know that?” She winked at me. “And I am your little elf.” “What do you want me to call you?” I asked. She was a little annoyed at the question, but fortunately not completely put off. “The dirtier the better, Hon. Tonight, I’m your little street ho bitch. Don’t be afraid to call me that, Baby.” And I wasn’t. She gave me the greatest oral sex that a man could get, and I called her every ‘ho’ I could think of. She was my ‘fucking ho,’ my ‘slut ho,’ my ‘cock-sucking ho,’ my ‘cum-swallowing ho’ and a thousand others. And as she sensed the nearing of my climax, and performed. They had a leaky faucet and I fixed it. Nice folks. That's about it I guess." But what is Bob Winkle like?" asked the frustrated interviewer."I really couldn't say. Like I said I never saw the guy."The interviewer turned to his producer. "Why did we pay this guy anyway?"The man answered for him. "Because you're taking my time. Time is money. You want to poke into people's business, you got to pay. We done here?"They tried to think up more questions, but got nothing further from the man, who waved at the camera and said "Hi, Honey", got in the van and drove away. He drove somewhat erratically, with a few stops and starts and a little screeching of tires. The cameraman joked that he was laughing so hard he couldn't drive.Actually, Bob had never driven anything as big as the van. For it was, in fact Bob, wearing Ted Richardson's shirt, hat and sunglasses who was driving the van. Martha had put makeup on his face to hide the redness left over from the pepper spray. He went three blocks.
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