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Fran could see the girl getting excited just thinking about it. “You think he’ll teach me how to be a good kisser?”“He’ll kiss you all over.” Fran confirmed. “When I say all over, I mean everywhere, too.”“You mean… there?!” Susie giggled. Her cheeks reddened as she blushed.“Does that shock you?” Fran smiled. “Don’t worry about it too much. He likes to do it.”“Has he done it to you??” Susie asked. She took one look at Fran’s face and got her answer. “Oh my god, he HAS! What is it like?”“It’s the best feeling in the world!” Fran told her truthfully. “You’re going to love it, trust me.”“Well, I guess so. “ Susie said nervously. “Do I have to be naked for it?”“More than likely.” Fran said. “Does that scare you?”“I don’t want him to laugh when he sees how small my chest is.” Susie admitted.“I promise he won’t!” Fran told her. “In fact, he’ll help them grow bigger by coming on them. I don’t know if it really works or not, but it sure is cool watching it spurt out!”“I can’t. The uncompromising landscape soothes me. The grey moody sky, the shrieking winds and ocean spray. The rage of the waves echoes through me, it feels so familiar. But enough, I must have my say today. The ‘madness within’ you call it. A dominating, powerful force that you feel drives me to both despair and delight. You derive comfort in any medical diagnosis that supports this theory of yours. And shallow optimism from chemicals designed to ‘correct’ this condition of mine. Madness? Perhaps. Powerful, certainly. But it’s no nameless force, no almighty independent power in itself. It is me. Part of me. All of me. By what right can you claim that a part of me that defines who I am is separate, an illness, a sore to be healed? I know what I feel. I know who I am. Can you say the same? Unlike you I can see where this ends. The waves I ride get higher, deeper and harder to survive. Recovery (your word) is longer each time. The further I go, the harder it is to come back. And why do I, why.
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