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"Now Andy," Mom said as she pulled up to the house. "Please don't do anything that would..." Ma," I whined."Well sometimes you get this attitude," Mom explained, dutifully playing the part of both Mom and Dad since the old man had bailed on us a few years back. "I just don't want Meg to..." I won't do anything to embarrass you, me, or anything else," I assured her, although that was the first time I had heard Miss Couse's first name.I guess Mom knew Miss Couse because my mother was a nurse too, having worked at the local hospital most of her life and so she thought I would do or say something to humiliate her in her colleague's eyes. Mom decided to walk up to the house with me, which made me feel even more like a k** than usual."Audrey!" Miss Couse said as we neared the door, and I admit to getting a little turned on when Miss Couse hugged my mother, as sick as that sounds. I wondered whether Mom knew her friend was a lesbian, not that I knew for sure myself, but when they hugged my. When I tried to join the other kids I wasattacked, teased or at the best, shunned. Although I was pretty good inteam sports I was still picked last.For example, when I was about twelve and walking home from school, this boycame up from behind me and said, "I want to see if you're a boy or a girl,"and goosed me. I fell down to the ground to protect myself. The physicalpain lasted only a minute or two. The emotional pain lasted a lifetime.In high school my senior class voted as to who was the best looking.Although I tried to hide what I was at the time I came in third in thevoting for girls behind two effeminate boys.Although I knew about the other boy I though back then that I was the onlyone like me and no one else had these thought that this boy shell shouldhave been a girl's. In fact at that age I was sent to psychiatrists becauseI was unhappy and uncommunitive. But I couldn't discuss how I felt withthese shrinks even though I went for a long time.As a teen I occasionally dressed.
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