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I promised I’d remember you like to be kissed gently, with a nibble at the end. Tears burn my eyes as I grieve for the lost chance to wake up next to you. I still want to hold your hand everywhere, at home, in public, during sex and while we sleep. I have so many questions that will have to remain unanswered. This loss, the slow grind of acceptance, is terrible. You fill my thoughts and my heart hurts. I wish for a different outcome. Crazy thoughts shoot through my head, bouncing off memories of you. What if I’d called sooner? I should have sent more little positive messages. I should have just asked permission to visit. If I had, you’d still be here, fighting. Then I wouldn’t have this huge ache inside. I recognize these thoughts as foolish, and I brush them aside. I focus on better, positive thoughts. On healthier imaginings. The other part of me is happy you no longer suffer. I couldn’t stand to hear you talk about the pain. It made me feel helpless, the simple words I had to. "Did you have a nice conversation with Bill about mypromotion?" Stacy hun," Monica said gently. "there is nothing to be worried about,I know you don't wear such outfits by choice." "And as for you," Monicasaid turning her gaze to Mike. "I did have quite a pleasantconversation with Bill, especially the part where he offered me thejob."Mike's smug expression faltered as he tried to discern whether or notMonica was bluffing. "Bullshit," he said at long last. "there is no wayyou could have gotten the job instead of me." Because you're a man, right?" Monica said giving her hips a playfulthrust. "Only big powerful men can lead a company; while woman shouldbe silent and subservient."Mike smiled and gave an arrogant nod. "You're god damn right," he saidconfidently striding across the room to where Stacy and Monica wherestanding. "Maybe if you are good you can be my new little secretary,"he said with a smirk.Monica just smiled and threw a handful of dust in Mike's face. "Im goodmy dear, put.
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