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Maybe I am unable to see the whole picture as you believe you can. I am too close to the problem. But if I am, aren’t you? You were my playmates, my confidants. How can you separate yourselves from what I have become? You helped me to become who I am. Don’t you feel somewhat responsible? You, who once loved me, now act as strangers and therefore able to judge me. Fine, you wish to betray me. Now is your chance. I cannot deny what I did. I am ready for your verdict. They appear to lean toward each other conspiratorially, attempting to keep secret what I already know. Stealing glances out of the corners of their plastic eyes, they whisper their final judgment to each other. Teddy and I watch them closely as they discuss the verdict. What is there to discuss? The evidence is overwhelming, the verdict already decided and the sentence begun. I realize that none of them are looking directly at me during this phase. They seem uncomfortable that they are not able to leave the room in order. Once when my husband was out of station, in the evening during 6:00 pm I asked him to take me out, I said that we should go to a very far place (near by town) and it may take about 4-5 hours journey. I sat in the back seat while he was driving. After going to the outskirts of the city, I pretended as if I was asleep and slowly I let my palloo (saree) drop. I think he saw my half naked bosom from the rear view mirror; he turned around and began staring at me. It was around 10:00 pm and the road was empty and we were alone, he slowed down the car at a dark lonely place and tried to wake me by calling my name. I acted as if I were deep asleep and did not respond. Sensing that, he got down and opened the back door and came inside and sat beside me. As my saree top was dropped aside, he could see my breasts swinging up and down due to my deep breath. He could no longer control his urge, he slowly put his hand on my left breast and did not move, it began to rise and fall with my breathing.
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