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..well you see it all the time. She invited me in, the drink of my generation isnt a drink at all, she twisted a nice fatty and we began to talk. She actually tried to excuse her actions at first, after making her see she was far from ok with all that she burst into this speech about nobody knows how she feels and nobody respects her like before she quit the biz. Moving on to "and i cant get a man to give me a second look, even mr. mom there. Can you make him want to fuck me once in a while? really!" she was rounding the corner on a tantrum, walking around the apartment straightening things that didnt need it, picking things up and putting them back, she was very pent up - talking faster by the second. I cornered her in the small effeciency kitchen and she collapsed her upper half on the counter and started repeating the core basics again only asked "i'm not nasty or b**stly am i? its like i stopped being a chick" blah blah blah. Emo people tend to bring out the worst in me,. She was busy.I brushed her hair back. She smiled, so beautiful. “Marry me,” I asked again, now for the fifth time.“No.”“Then tell me why not. We’re happy. We love each other.”“You’re not ready.”Frustrated, I said, “Enough with the not ready, honey. Tell me why!”She smiled softly, reached out and caressed my jaw. “When you can go into Addison’s room, then you’ll be ready.”As much as it hurt to hear it, the truth hurt even more. Kimber was right. I’d avoided Addison’s bedroom, forever closed, my way of avoiding painful memories, shut away in a corner of my mind.I was happy, yet the ghost of her hovered. While Kimber slept, I wrestled with fear. Opening her bedroom would open memories I had pushed down. I’d never faced the loss, accepted, the prospect terrifying me. I could never forgive myself.Maybe Kimber was right. Maybe she was far, far more insightful than I gave her credit for.I slept restlessly, tossing and turning so much Kimber complained. She was bright and energetic in the.
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