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Inherent self-doubt produced fear of rejection. ‘Bob loved me, and he left.’ Sherry made comparisons to stem the flow of negative thoughts. ‘Bob isn’t half the man Sam is. He’s evil. Sam is gentle and kind.’ A young, inexperienced Sherry had mistaken Bob’s brusque and demeaning treatment as manly. His arrogance seemed like confidence to her naive soul. She’d thought, ‘Here’s a man I can depend on to take care of our family’. In reality, his bravado proved to be a fragile shell. Underneath, there was a jealous, petty, self-centered monster that found joy in being a bully. She had no opinion worth hearing. Her job was to act the trophy wife and make him look important. When she grew a backbone, he tried to break it. The day he left had been one of her happiest. ‘Bob is weak. Sam is strong.’ Sam seemed to be the ideal husband, and she’d envied Jan. Watching them together was like watching newlyweds — pecks on cheeks, hand holding. Sherry had even caught them playing footsie during a. We'd sleep in the same bed. Kiss each other as we left for work in the morning. Sit arm in arm, watching the television, feeling the comfort of our embraces. Laugh over shared memories over a beer or a meal out. Be as inseparable as the best of heterosexual couples. These are such innocent desires. And they so utterly overwhelm me."Binta ran her hands through the long strands of her hair and gazed sadly at her naked lap. Ana smiled wanly. Her emotions were curiously unfocused. She was reassured by Binta's commitment to someone else. She'd never felt so strongly towards someone as Binta had, but she appreciated and rather envied the yearnings.She was about to comment, when a knock distracted her attention towards the door. A broad smiling woman's face was peering round. Like Binta, she wore no clothes and her very long hair reached down to just below her waist. She was deeply sun-tanned and her hair was bleached blonde by the sun. She was much taller than Binta, - who wasn't.
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