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Again, I refuse to be a mistake,’ I said as she sobbed quietly. I knew that she probably would not have repeated this mistake if we reconciled, just as I knew that my mother would not come back to walk off again. But when you have been kicked by life as many times as I have, you cannot take the chance. You cannot enjoy a soccer match because you identify with the ball and not the players or cheering fans. I could not endure being kicked once again. I think Cindy understood what I tried to tell her. She got up after a while and hugged me. ‘I understand. I am so sorry for this hurt. Believe me when I tell you — I truly love you. For me the most important thing is your happiness. I forgot that in my drunken stupor. I am not drunk right now. I know that it is best for me for walk off without hurting you anymore. Just remember — I do love you. Never doubt that.’ She said in a sad-sad voice, ‘I guess when we fall in love or when we become too close to someone we grant them the power to. This for Ashley was a twisted feeling that had never been tapped, and all of this just from the look in his eyes!During the dance though he acted very gentlemanly and seemed so kind, almost like an old friend. His voice was soothing and she easily relaxed, with this easily giving away to a helpless submissive feeling that she would, with little concern do anything he asked. The feeling was wonderful but his words were quite different. They started out by him simply saying, I am a “sexual sadist”, I torture and abuse women just for the fun of it, and I would love to do the same to you? The words at first, were again so smooth matter of fact and the meaning of them took several minutes to actually sink in as, they danced! Ashley was trembling again, at first hesitant and then with tempered curiosity and wonder asked quite boldly, well Ben what kind of sexual torture would you do to me? She held her breath expecting him to say something like a brutal whipping or some.
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