..feminine? Sexy. I blushed a little at the thought.Why was I trying to get rid of them again? Wasn?t this one of thethings I?d secretly always wanted my whole life? Hadn?t I dreamed abouthaving boobs since the disappointment that was puberty?I mean, granted, they looked super out of place on the lithe, sensualcurves of my quarterback body, but they felt so damn correct, like thiswas a part of me that I?d just been missing my whole life. Uhg. If onlyI had had the courage to ask Ellen to swap me into a woman?s body, tolet me be one of those cheerleaders that night like she had originallydone. I was still kicking myself for chickening out like that. What hadI been thinking, that maybe being a guy wouldn?t be so bad if I was anattractive guy? Uhg. I?ve never felt as dysphoric about my body in mylife.But... these boobs... damn, they felt so right. I thought back to allthe times in my life I?d wished and prayed for boobs, or for a prettyface, to not be stuck in my ugly male body. I?d never. "You know you'll never make progress while you continue to keep your twolives separate," Beverly advises with a professional tone to her voice."I know," I sigh. "But what exactly is it I'm trying to make progresstoward?" I'd like to know what you mean by that question," Beverly says. "Bywhich I mean, what do you feel you're progressing toward?" ...I don't know," I moan. "When I'm with my parents, I feel safe, happy,like I don't have to hide any more... But when I'm dressed like this, asStephanie... This may sound silly, but I feel more 'alive' than when I'm athome." You'd be surprised how many transsexuals say the exact same thing,"Beverly says."So... Is that it?" I ask. "Am I definitely transsexual, should I starttaking oestrogen?" I never said that," Beverly replies. "And I'm definitely NOT prescribingoestrogen at this point in time. Hormone therapy is only appropriate whena patient displays an inability to live life as their birth gender, whichyou clearly isn't the case in your.
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