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I assumed I’d know her better being a girl but he insisted we talk about her as a person, not a metaphor. And somewhere in there, I realized he saw me as a person too.”“How long were you ... talking?” Sylvia prompted.“Weeks? A month? I don’t know, forever. One day I hugged him and could tell he wanted ... what every guy wants but he didn’t act like others. I kept waiting for him to try to get in my pants but he didn’t. So, eventually I, well, eventually ... pushed.” Melissa supplied.“Now, that does sound like the Rob I remember,” Sylvia said with a half-hearted chuckle.“What does that mean?” I asked.“You always were oblivious to women.”I looked at her, confused.“No, not me in case you’re wondering.” Thank goodness, that would have been too weird. “There were other girls though ... more than one liked your intensity. Several were interested to find out if you could be just as passionate about them as you are about books.”At that Melissa kind of turned red. Lavi did not let her life. I would softly caress her belly until she fell asleep. Often, I would let my hand move below her belly and just above her private parts and stop there for a second. She seemed to like it.This was our routine. We worked or played during the day and cuddled at night. I had never felt so much love in my life. None of the girls in school could make me feel the way Mum did. They were all insecure, needy, and full of drama. I didn't have any of that at home with Mum. I loved being content and having someone who knew how to soothe me. No girl my age could do that like Mum. I found myself feeling anxious to get home from school to see her. I also would catch myself daydreaming about our snuggle time. Craving it actually. All I wanted was her warmth and love.Sometimes mates at school would ask what I was doing at night, but as we lived in the country I would just say staying in. I realized I couldn't tell them that I was going to have cuddles with my Mum. This is when I started to feel shame.
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