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After about 20 mins, I got out and went to my room to get dressed. I had a towel around my waist and was looking through my closet when I heard my door open then close. I turned around and there was Erica standing there in a satin robe. Before I could say anything Erica walked over to me and began to kiss me. I went totally numb with shock, as she wrapped her arms around me and pulled me toward my bed. I pulled away and fell on to the bed. Still overcome by lust and shock I said to her “Hold on, what the hell !” Erica replied “I can’t, I need you and I know you want me.” As I lay on the bed, she untied her robe and let it drop to the floor. Erica then took my hands and placed them to her breasts. I rubbed them slowly, and played with her nipples. She moaned with pleasure telling me how good it felt. I pulled her on top of me and started kissing her neck and lips. I rolled Erica over on her back and slowly began to kiss my way down her body until I reached her pussy. I parted her. He nods and says this is a better answer to the previous question. He asks me what He has said or done to cause me to think He was going to release me. my answer is that He had done nothing to cause me to think this. So He takes the next step and asks what *has* caused me to think He would release me? i lower my head and He quickly tells me to look at him. More tears fall. i feel like such a failure. "my own self doubt," i answer. He nods and says, "now you will remain where you are, kneeling there, and you will remain looking at Me while you think about why you are filled with such self doubt." i feel horrible. This is so painful i am beginning to wish He had chosen to cut off my arm instead. As i continue to look at him, more tears begin to fall and i have a hard time keeping my eyes on Him, much less thinking about anything. Looking up at Him, i beat myself up all over again for putting Him through this. Why do i have such self-doubt? The answer is because i have not accepted.
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