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Shortly before landing in New York, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, “Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans, please raise your hand.”Not one hand went up ... so she took them home and ate them.These are compliments of mario marioA friend of mine recently showed me the plans for an invisible airplane.To be honest I can’t see it taking off.Two dyslexics run into a bank and shout:“Air in the hands mother stickers! This is a fuck up!”A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?”The monks graciously accept him, fed him dinner, even fixed his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a very strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.”The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, The same. She was deep in thought for a minute or two, then she turned back to look into my eyes."I know that what I did was so wrong. I also know that you think that I owe you an apology. I know that I was pulled into a plot to fulfill a sick fantasy of Gary's, not yours. I also know that any apology from me would be just empty words on deaf ears. Jim, I have always loved you more than you probably can imagine. I let myself be convinced that what Gary told me was true, and you had been so in love with me that you hid those fantasies from me so that you wouldn't hurt my feelings. I now know that it was a terrible lie to me and that I was used for five days or so, and you knew nothing about what Gary had talked me into. What I did was wrong, very wrong, and I am sorry that I put you through it. What Gary did was even more wrong, and I am sure that your assault on him was your way of evening up things. Are you going to beat me now too? Will that make everything O.K. with you? If you want you can.
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