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. there Chelsea," said Ryan, giving her a hug, patting her back."You just haven't talked to the right guys then?" I know! It's just I like a certain type. Sensitive.. Good looking...and not jerks! You'd think there would be plenty like that, right?" saidChelsea, sucking it up as she pulled back as Ryan touched her hair,looking at her. "You'd think I'd meet a million guys like that being amodel and working with them, but no. It's like every freaking hot guy Ilike turns out to be gay! Every one, or is it me?" It's definitely not you, and I think I might know one that would beexactly that type," Ryan smiled as she was wiping under her eyes withher compact."Well I'd love to hear about that sometime, and honestly I wish it wasyour brother," said Chelsea, biting her lip. "Oh that guy gave megoosebumps just looking at him, and I heard he was the sensitive type." Really?" said Ryan, noticing her sliding her hand against her dress."Goosebumps." Really, and so much more," replied Chelsea,. A silent coupling there. And a repressed acknowledgement that every single time might very well be our last time. We're both moving, filled with wanderlust. And we know we're not heading to the same place.Saudade.That's what I think as I hold the gossamer paper in my hands. I learned that word when I lived in Portugal with another girl. Someone long gone. Someone Isabel can't stop asking about.That word is about a pain so deep it can't be isolated. Or healed. A thirst that can't be slaked. A nostalgic longing for a love who isn't there. And I think about what saudade really means: it's a longing for a love that might never return. "Saudade," I say. "It's Portuguese for missing someone." That translation was close enough. Izzy has no patience for extra information. Or subtlety. One sentence too many and she goes off into another place."I don't know the word for being devastated and incredibly happy at the same time. What part are you feeling right now?" Both," she says. "I'm.
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