I only lost them in Selfridges.”“And how long did you hide in there?”“Long enough to find the toilets.” He answered quietly.“Have you never tried a prostitute?” I asked, “I mean, you’re in Soho often by the sounds of it, excuse the Pet Shop Boys pun.”“They’ve approached me but I can’t even talk to them,” he answered shaking his head. “They start talking, asking me if I’m looking for a girl and the answer I want to say is yes, but I just can’t reply. I just walk away. Like I’ve said, I’m not good at talking with women.”“Well, you’re talking to me now, aren’t you?” Jay said approaching him and taking his now shaking hands. “You have to stop touching woman up. That’s a definite no-brainer. It’s not the sort of thing that a box of Milk Tray will make better”“And you could get seriously hurt.” I said. “One day you’ll touch the wrong woman and it will have serious consequences for the rest of your life.” “I will, I will stop touching them,” Paul replied still looking down and nodding. “I. So my discovery of this green slug either proves the long abandoned theory of spontaneous generation or he scaled the sewer pipes and crawled in through the small hole in my drain. This must have been a fantastic adventure, something paralell to Columbus’ voyage, and really deserves a novel unto itself. In the far corner of the bathroom is no man’s land, a gigantic space piled with spare blankets, dart-boards, warring tribes of Progresso Soup, a plastic box of rations, and a rather spendy chess computer, all guarding a book shelf, home to a think tank ranging from Hemingway’s ‘Death in the Afternoon’ to an outdated travel book on ‘Thailand,’ to ‘Catherine the Great,’ a gift from Ruby that served as a dissapointing substitute for Will Durant’s ‘The Napoleonic Age,’ which also turned out to be a dissapointment, all the more so because I had waited for it with an almost religious awe. This reminds me of the Jonny Lang album ‘Long Time Coming,’ which was actually the straw that broke.
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