But the moment she was leaving, I managed to pull her aside and finally told her my feelings. Her face fell. “I wish you had expressed yourself earlier” was all she said before she turned around and moved towards the waiting car. That was my last memory of her, see her go away. Coming back to the present, even though we hadn’t spoken with each other even once during the last 15years, I was super excited that I will be seeing her.For Holi every year, everyone in the neighbourhood comes together to play colours. This year too it was the same and coincidently the lunch was arranged on the terrace of my home. Everyone was to meet in the morning at 9 am. There would be a lot of dancing, playing overall a fun-filled day. But my mind was only thinking about Sujata. How does she look now? Will she be the same towards me after all these years? Does she still remember what I had told her? What if she was married now? Is she coming with her husband? would she even be interested in talking with. It's just that you look so much like a girl now, you know,...and I've read about sissy boys who really do dress up in girls clothes. I just thought maybe you were like that." Just then there was another knock at the door, abruptly ending this conversation. I began to realize that I had little chance of ever making it with Maria; she didn't even consider me a man, apparently! So all of this, this whole effort of mine, was wasted. I ended up as a maid solely because of my desire for Maria, and now it was obvious that she has no sexual feelings towards me."Rebecca, you get the door, and I'll take the baby back to Josie," Maria said. She cuddled the baby and walked back to the living room as I apprehensively went to open the door.This time there were three Hispanic men at the door, all about my age. Trying hard to channel my energy into the task of being a typical maid, I again did my routine."Hello," I said, diverting my gaze towards the floor, and again managing to accomplish a.
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