"He makes me feel so goddamn guilty... Why can't he understand that I'm holding down three jobs, I'm broke, and I'm trying to go to school...I just don't have the time...and he won't make it worthwhile." Katie's muttering turned to sniffles and sobs as she continued on her way home.Only the flashing computer screen greeted Katie when she entered her small apartment. While she had made every attempt to make it warm and cozy, tonight it felt cold and empty. The computer reminded her of the Abnormal Psychology web cast seminar the next day. Panic filled her. She had not yet completed the required reading. She must do that tonight. "Geez, Jackson, what don't you understand about the fact that there are only 24 hours in my day? I don't have time for the stupid Hawg Run." Frustration overwhelmed her as she grabbed the heavy abnormal psychology text from her desk. The pile of overdue bills caught her eye. However, Katie decided that she could only deal with one crisis at a time and chose. Daddy nodded quietly and then he hit me with the second part of his one-two punch."It was Babs who took those pictures," he told me.I started to cry myself and turned toward Daddy, to hug him. He cried on my shoulder while I sobbed into his chest. Our bodies were close and I suddenly felt his hardness pressing against me. It meant nothing; I knew that boys — and of course men — become erect when they think about sex. Mom's well used pink vibrator, Daddy's visions of her in bed with his brother-in-law, Daddy's memories of his own penis somewhere inside his own sister's body, those surely were enough to trigger thoughts of sex and to send blood into his male member.But I didn't pull away. I was a virgin, my sexual experience limited to the one groping feel that I had allowed Timmy Temple to get away with in the movies, outside the sweater, of course. That and the single time, the week before her death, the advice that Mom had given me when she had taught me how to insert a tampon.
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