’An old woman goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse she has been living with for the last 40 years.The Wizard says, ‘Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.’The old woman says without hesitation, ‘I now pronounce you man and wife.’Two Reasons Why It’s So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:1. The DNA all matches.2. There are no dental records.A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, ‘Can you tell me how long it’ll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?’The agent replies, ‘Just a minute.’‘Thank you, ‘ the blonde says, and hangs up.Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.‘How was he killed?’ asked one detective... ‘With a golf gun, ‘ the other detective replied.‘A golf gun! What is a golf gun?’‘I don’t know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.’Moe: ‘My wife got me to believe in religion.’ Joe: ‘Really?’ Moe: ‘Yeah, until I married her I didn’t believe in Hell.’A man is recovering from. ”“That’s okay, Angel and I’m very happy for you. Let’s go home and get ready for tomorrow’s barbecue. oOo All the kids and grandkids are having a great time. The kids are playing in the large yard and myself, Angel, and my three sons and daughters - in-law are gathered around the grill as I recount the stories of the trip.Suddenly little Heather, the youngest grand-daughter and named after my wife, comes up to Angel and tugs on her shirt tail. Angel looks down and the little one says "Are you gonna be my new grandma?"Angel looks at me and then at my son and Heather's mother.She squats down to Heather's level and takes her little hands. "No, sweetie, I could never replace your grandma. From what your grandpa has told me about her, she was a very special person. But I'll tell you what... if you'll let me, I will be your new friend."The little girl thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, I'd like that."Angel smiles and picks the child up in her arms and says, "Me too, sweetie..
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