She put some great smelling food on a plate and handed it to me. I stopped by the refrigerator and got some milk for us, at sat down. She brought the rest of the food and two glasses for us. Sometimes we act like a married couple, as we ate our meal in relative silence."Why don't you have a guy friend yet?" I said putting a perfectly cooked piece of bacon in my mouth."I don't know," she said stopping to chew the food in her mouth. "It hasn't been a priority in my life. At least not yet anyway." I suppose you have some super high standards for any guy. Do you wanna share those so I can be on the lookout for you?" No ... you'd just make fun of me." Would not?" Would too," she was quick to retort."OK, whatever you want. Do you have any work to do today?" Yeah, I got an email about a story from a guy with a first chapter of a new book he wants me to look over to give him a quote on how much I would charge him to fix his story." How do you decide how much to charge, anyway?" I've worked. But the truth is I'm a shitty mother. I'm only being brutally honest. I admit that I'm not the brightest bulb on the tree. And my conscience never bothers me when I do something illegal or dishonest. It doesn't even bother me very much to admit that breaking the law isn't something that I do all that rarely if I don't think anyone is watching me. I've been known to take something that wasn't mine when I thought I could get away with it. I'm not very scrupulous about telling the truth, either.The only reason I'm not an all out criminal is probably the fear of getting caught and going to prison. I'm terrified of being locked up in a prison. My fear of being imprisoned is almost irrational in its intensity.Perhaps that fear haunts me because I have come so close so many times and have had to think about it more than most people I know. Or maybe it stems from the fact that my father died in prison. If it wasn't for that fear I'd probably be out robbing banks for a living. It looks like.
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