’ She answered, looking deep into his eyes. ‘Your the best thing that has ever happened to me. I want you to know that. I couldn’t ask for more.’ Cien closed his eyes against the pain in his body. It was a physical ache. He felt like he was going to vomit, and there wasn’t anything he could do about it. The feeling was only getting worse, not better. Opening his eyes, he could see the pain in her eyes. ‘Does it pain you much?’ ‘Yes, but whatever Maggie gave meit’sts making me sleepy.’ She shook her head. ‘I don’t want to go to sleep, Cien. I don’t want to lose any moment of being with you.’ Fresh tears leaked out the corners of her eyes and slid down into her hair. ‘I wish we had more time. I want to be a wife to you.’ ‘Joy. We must talk about joyful things.’ ‘I don’t have anything to talk about.’ ‘Tell me of your future. Tell me of your life there.’ Regan smiled. ‘Alright.’ For the next hour and a half she talked about her life in Portland, teaching, and her family. She had to. We had a two hour journey ahead of us and I had no idea what to say, so, as the train pulled slowly out of Birmingham, we sat, silently, with her hand resting in mine on my lap. After a while, Sam turned her face away from the darkness of the winter countryside flashing by and said, “Anna, Why did this happen?” “What do you mean, exactly?” “Why did you seduce me?” For the second time that day I felt as though a hot knife had been pushed through my heart. I didn’t answer right away but she must have seen the hurt in my eyes for she continued, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that I blame you or anything, I just wondered why me. Did you think I looked that way or something?” “No Sam!” Maybe a little too sharply as her eyes opened wider for a moment, “I didn’t think that way at all.” “Please don’t be angry with me, Anna. I don’t understand about these things.” Her eyes began to well up again, “Please help me. I am so confused. I can’t handle it on my own.” “I know,” squeezing her.
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