Really clever of you to think of everything, making me feelsecure and safe.I'm still really nervous about going out, I wish I wasn't, and everyoneon Flickr says such lovely things but I just don't see that I'd pass.Do hope you understand but I don't think I'm ready."A pause. You check your make up, feeling the lace and satin with yourlong nailed hand, catching a glimpse of the dark beauty with thebright eyes and passionate lips in the reflection in the window. Youcross and re cross your smooth legs, aware of the new pressure in yourpanties, causing you to smile to yourself."Being away gave me a chance to reflect and think, and maybe just maybeif you would like perhaps maybe we could meet up? I thought maybe anapartment hotel, not our homes but with enough space that maybe I couldor we could cook, spend some time together getting to know one another.New York gave me time to understand that sometimes you have to take arisk and break free of previous ways of thinking. I'm hoping that. I just kept on walking. Iwondered if there might b a way to connect to any of them, to tag alongor even join in, but to me, that seemed about as likely as an octopusjoining a flock of birds. I didn't know where to start. The most basicaspects of socialising seemed as cryptic as a book written in foreignletters. I didn't talk to anyone, but still, it was better than justsitting at home.Eventually, I decided to sit down on a bench, rest for a few minutes andthen to return home. The night was still very young, but I had run outof ideas where else to go. I sat down, took out my phone and checked myemails. Not that I expected any, it just seemed to be a good way toappear a little less lost and out of place. I actually found some unreadmail, but only the usual. A newsletter, and some spam which I quicklydeleted. After that, I put my phone on standby and back into my coat. Ihad just been about to get up when suddenly, I heard someone say "Hi!"That came very unexpected. I hadn't noticed.
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