" "Tim, I think that we may have a solution to your problem. I have told Gran that you are still a virgin and suggested that you come and watch us while we make love. That way I can instruct you in all the ways of pleasing a woman." "Oh could I Dad, I would love that. Gramma is just the sort of woman I would love to make love to when I get older. She has big tits and a great ass which I love on a woman and not many of the girls at school are built like that." "Oh yes Tim, your Gran has a great body and I love every inch of it. Why don't you come to the bedroom tonight about 9ish and we will give you a demonstration in the art of LOVE MAKING." "OK Dad, I just might do that." "By the way Tim, if you want to play with your cock while you watch, that is alright. I can't see how you could avoid it, we will probably make you feel very horny." That night, Gran and I had just gone to bed and I was kissing her passionately, the way we always did. We didn't notice at first, but Tim crept into. But I digress; No Oyster means no bus and since buses no longer accept proper money because it’s too expensive/dangerous/so last season/dirty and dripping with the blood of c***d prostitutes, or just too heavy for the suspension, or to send someone down the bank the next morning to pay it in I have to ride my bike, my bright yellow bike, the same unroadworthy bright yellow bike upon which I’ve narrowly escaped injury or possibly almost certain death on more occasions than I care to remember, although I know it’s at least three.If like me-and since you are me-you believe that inanimate objects conspire alone, or with other inanimate objects to ruin if not to actually take your life you will know that this bike is a killer in the making and has it in for you. You don’t know why that should be or what you did to deserve it, you only know it wants you dead with your head as a trophy to parade throughout Walthamstow on its rusting handlebars.Maybe it’s because it resents being bright.
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