Late at night, I surf online porn in a constant search for big organs penetrating tiny little female bodies. Lucky for me, there's plenty of that to be found! I touch myself, setting off powerful orgasms as I watch young women getting dominated by men with massive penises. This was my new obession; I had to know what this felt like. My body demanded it, and my mind raced with images of Tamara on the table with that guy. I don't know if it was biology, or just 5 or 6 years of repressed libido that was all escaping at once, but my mission was clear: I was going to find a cute guy, and I was going to find out what it was like to have sex with him. I can't stress enough how wildly out of character this was for me. I had only kissed four guys in my life, and all four had been Asian-American as well. Three of them I'd met at church, and a fourth was a guy that I'd crossed paths with at national meets. The one and only time I'd allowed a guy to reach 'second base' was. It's, sort of, flattering to have such a young boy, with his parent's permission, as my own fuck toy. As he is in school most days, I have plenty of time to ask all sorts of questions of the others in the house and to take oral histories.Ray's mom, Alysa, other than taking my birth control pills away treats me like a younger sister. She is teaching me to cook Filipino food. Alysa's husband Henry is a sweet man. He apologized to me one day in the oddest way ... at the dinner table he said that I sure was pretty but that every bit of energy he had was drained on a nightly basis by Alysa and Samantha, Alysa's daughter. Samantha is fifteen. Henry married Alysa two and a half years ago. Ray is one year younger than Samantha. Samantha has been calling me 'Ate.' She is happy her brother has a wife now. She was feeling guilty before. She tells me that it is good that Ray will have mestizo children. There is one other child in the family. Her name is Jacqueline and she is three. It is clear.
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