After afashion. The world seemed grey and tasteless with you gone, as if allthe joy had been sucked out of it, and I moved through it like aphantom. People were sympathetic, but anything more than a simple "I'msorry for your loss" was too much for me to cope with. Everything justhurt too much. At first, I couldn't bear to look at my reflection, knowing that every time I did I'd see you there, the ghost in themirror, reminding me what I'd lost. Later, I swung to the oppositeextreme. They say your body is a temple; well, mine became a shrine. Iwould spend hours at the dressing table meticulously doing my hair,make-up, and clothing in as precise a copy of how you did it as I couldmanage. I got very good at it. It was as if, in my pain and sorrow, Iwas somehow trying to recreate you with skirts, heels, lipstick, andpowder, unconsciously trying through some crude form of sympatheticmagic to bring you back to me.Ah, yes, magic.I realize now that the charms were magic, and that you used. My left hand clumsily fumbled for the camera, and I ended up dropping it at least twice. I took at least 5 pictures and then a video of my spreading her crack open and close for a good minute. Satisfied, I gently stroked her asshole with one of my fingers.I heard her moan and begin to roll over. I absolutely panicked, grabbed my camera and ducked under her bed. She unconsciously re-positioned herself and apparently never woke up, but I ended up huddled under her bed for too long to be sure. I began worry when I realized that my other roommates might wake up soon and there was no subtle way to get out of her room without being noticed once they were out and about. I crawled out from under her bed, crept out of her room, closed the door, back into my room, and jerked off furiously. I'm sure Carrie noticed the hole in her shorts and her panties, as she never wore them again. Then again, she never said anything about it either. I don't know if she ever suspected me, one of the other.
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