If she spent the night with some guy other than my father, Idefinitely didn't want to know. In fact, I'd have cut her off if she'dtried to share such a thing. Thankfully, she didn't go there. "What do you say, shall we share a meal together?" "Sounds like a plan Mom," I replied remembering my promise to be atSam's by 6:30. "You really like being a girl, don't you Joan?" she asked me in analmost sad tone. In the past week or so I'd come to take it all forgranted and a puzzled expression showed on my face. Rather than respondto her question, I found myself surveying my room and realized that I'dhave to make some changes. This definitely was not Joan's room. "Yes Mom, I do. I know now that it's who I was meant to be." The look inher eyes ran the full gamut of emotions. I saw in them happiness,sadness, and yes, fear. "It's all right Mom," I said and gave her a hug."Shall we just enjoy the moment?" I asked pleadingly. "Get dressed girl," she commanded. "We're going out to eat." She. ..what's the long term plan?" that I started dreading him being around because I didn't want to be embarassed. My brother even thought Ethan was awesome. So being a stupid teen, one night instead of the regular "good night, see you tommorow" on the phone, I told him it was over. I couldn't even give him a good excuse. I felt terrible and I knew that it would be awhile before we talked again, especially with him having started a different job. As soon as I hung up I wanted to call him back and tell him that I didn't mean it, but instead I went up to my room and stared at the wall willing myself not to cry. I didn't think it would go over well if I told Ethan that I had fucked up and please pretend like it didn't happen, I figured that the damage was done and I had just lost my bestest friend in the world.So I was sitting in my room trying not to bawl, because who seriously cries like a baby after breaking up with someone, when my mom shouted at me that Ethan was downstairs. I looked.
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