ClaireHi. My name is Michelle Guptill, I'm 44 years old, and I'm dying of lungcancer. I don't have an ounce of self-pity, because I brought all ofthis on myself. I do feel terrible guilt, though, about the fourteenagers I'm leaving behind, as my death will leave them orphans. It'sbeen nine years since we lost their father, my husband Bert.What beautiful children they are. Grace is 17, Abigail is 15, Jacob is14 and Emma is 12, and they are the greatest of the many undeservedblessings I've received in my life.It's a warm fall day, and I feel strong enough to unhook myself from myoxygen to go out on the porch to smoke. Yes, I'm still smoking. Quittingnow would really be like closing the barn gate after the horse was gone,so why put myself through the agony?I don't look in the mirror; I don't need to be reminded of what'shappened to me over the past nine months since my diagnosis. Radiationcost me my hair, and a cheap red wig sits atop my head. I weighed 150pounds before I became ill,. I take off my bikini top and I realize that there are two guys next to me, placed so that if I turn around a little they can glimpse something. I notice that my boyfriend is busy with his phone and slowly rise with my breasts out of the water, with my nipples hard, a little from the cold a little from being aroused, I put my tits towards the two guys, who promptly look. No one other than my boyfriends had ever looked at my boobs, the feeling was incredible. So I spend another thirty seconds taking the sand off my tits and then I decide to get out of the water and go back to my boyfriend who hadn't noticed anything.We go back to our spot, and I was still thinking about what had just happened and I realize that there are three guys in front of us, and I was so horny that I wanted to show my tits to them too. My boyfriend has very fair skin and can't stay in the sun too much so he asks me to go back to the hotel, also because he had a business call, to which I tell him, "we paid all day.
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