“Pa? Nope, he left a’fore Ma came in,” said the kid.“Well, is your mother there?” persisted the social worker.“Ma? Nope, she left just a’fore I got here,” said the kid.“But,” protested the social worker, (thinking that surely she would need to intervene in this situation)“Are you never together as a family?”“Sure, but not here,” said the kid through the door. “This is the outhouse!”This one is compliment of the watertownkid‎A couple was having dinner in a posh restaurant, enjoying an exquisite meal. As they were eating the main course, a beautiful redhead sauntered to the table, leaned in a whispered something in the husband’s ear, giggled and then trailed her hand across his face and neck as she swayed away.The wife hisses, “Just who was that?”The husband replied, “My mistress.”“You bastard. I’m going to divorce you.”“As you wish, dear. But I have great lawyers. You’ll do OK but you won’t be living in the Palm Beach waterfront mansion or in the mountain estate. You won’t be riding in. It was probably pumping into her faster than she could swallow it.When the last of it had gone down her throat, she fell back gasping for breath. Still on his knees, Raver, too, sat back on his heels, his face turned upward, eyes closed, his chest heaving. The massive instrument had softened and somehow it seemed less formidable."Beggin' your pardon, ma'am," he said after a minute, "but never play with a loaded gun. No tellin' just when it'll go off." Oh!" Helen was still gasping. "Oh! There was so much. Do you always come so much?" she managed to ask between breaths."That's real Texas cock, ma'am," he said almost in a matter of fact tone.She sat up, her breathing gradually returning to normal. Picking up the fallen piece of meat, she lifted it in a way that suggested she was testing its weight. "Gosh!" she exclaimed. "Even soft, it still must weigh a ton."I suspected that Helen was far from satisfied. It had never gotten anywhere near the place that counted. If the throbbing in my.
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